The Man, The Myth, The Legend: Bill Paxton

I wanted to sit here and write about how swimmingly my weekend went.  I wanted to sit here and tell you about personal milestones with some of my obsessions, and just in general that life has taken a definite upswing these last few days after some real hard knocks. 

I want to do that so very badly.  Something has happened however, and that something has loomed large over everything else I could’ve done.  Part of the tragedy, from my perspective, is that I had lost any ability whatsoever to interact with the man on a professional level.  I could never find him at a comic convention (which he was a regular attendant at) and let him know just how much his work had meant to me.  That I loved following his career, and that the significant inspiration for all that I’ve accomplished since July of last year was his work.  I’ve loved it since I was a small child, sitting on my father’s lap watching The Terminator and Aliens (neither of which I should’ve been watching, but hey). 

Bill Paxton was just so incredibly good in everything he turned his hand to.  No, seriously.  I’m going to take a brief moment and give you a couple, a couple, of the movies on his IMDB page:

Terminator
Aliens
Titanic
Stripes
Tombstone
Apollo 13
True Lies
Edge of Tomorrow
Haywire

Bear in mind, any one of these would’ve been the hallmark of a career.  They are all highly acclaimed, critically successful movies.  He’s gotten over 90 movie credits in total, and his performances are memorable every time the camera is on him.

In particular, his portrayal of Private Hudson in Aliens was nothing short of legendary.  Outside of Sigourney Weaver (who is the basis for every single lead character I will ever make, for the rest of my career), he is the single most memorable character on my favorite movie ever made. I have watched Aliens hundreds upon hundreds of times throughout my life.  I’ve purchased, and worn out, almost six separate copies of the DVD.  Yes.  I have destroyed by use digital media over 5 times.  When I’m sick, when I’m sad, when I’m having a rough week, or when I just need something to comfort me, I watch Aliens.  I’m watching it right now, at this moment, as I write the tribute to Bill.

In Aliens, Bill plays a mouthy career military Private.  He has a back-talking, shit-talking, actually-frail-but-tries-to-hide-it soldier taken on the ride of his life (the last too) on Colony LV-426.  He has two of the most memorable scenes in the movie, giving Ellen Riply (Weaver) a fantastic monologue where he tries to act like the macho tough guy he isn’t.  It’s… god it’s poetry.  Seriously, if you haven’t seen this movie, watch it for that scene if nothing else.  The movie was made in 86, and it is hands down better than 99% of the other Science Fiction movies ever made. 

His role, his character, and his portrayal of Hudson have left a permanent mark on my life, and when I sat down last year and pulled the trigger on my career, Bill Paxton’s name was one of the things which flashed through my mind every time I considered it.  I wanted, so very badly, to reach a stage in my career where I could engage with the man at an event.  Where I could approach him, and thank him for all he has done and given to all of us who hadn’t done anything for him.  I wanted to share what his actions have inspired me to create, and to have even the slightest potential to impress him with my work. 

Reality has taken over however, and that opportunity, and that dream, are gone.  All I feel is bitter regret that I didn’t move sooner in my life to make the most of it.  And I feel extreme apprehension that Sigourney Weaver (with whom I share the same style of dream), will pass before I have reached a point where I could approach her as well, thanking her so very much for her portrayal of a strong, intelligent, female protagonist perfectly capable of taking the lead in a crisis.  I loved that about her characters, and I just hope that I haven’t delayed my career too long to allow that moment to happen, even if it never lives up to my imaginings.

Meatsuit Reroot – I have to talk about the body right now, because I promised that I would use this space to shame myself.  So I shall, despite my heavy heart, and my current distress of trying to chase a highly active toddler about the house.  Well, the toddler chasing might actually play to my favor, given the current topic.   Caffeine-wise, I’ve had lots.  I got like… 1.5 hours of sleep last night?  So, obviously too much too late.  I’m going to start tracking my sleep too, because that’s important.

Weight: 252.8
Sleep: 1.5 hours
Coffee: None (been soda lately, need to fix it)
Exercise: A little cardio, several planks a day (upwards of five), several push up sessions (3-4 per).

Ugh.  So much I need to work on.

Poundfully,
Justin