Learning to Walk Again

Today has brought something into sharp relief that had not been apparent until the last month.

Every single struggle I’ve had over the last year and change has been exacerbated by work.

Yes, I have had my fair share of tragedy. From COVID absolutely wrecking my shit (again) to my dad dying to my marriage going through the wringer to my son having difficulties at school. My life has become engrossing. And that’s not even getting into the fact that the world seems to be heading to hell in an express elevator. Going down.

Okay, let’s not dwell on all of that because if I do so too long that’s all this post will be about. 

However, what I have noticed since this change of position is that not have I found the energy to write again (hence the post) but I’ve found the energy to everything again. 

I’m helping out around the house. I’m more actively engaged in tiny human’s life. I’m spending more quality time with the family. I’m spending more quality time on my diet. I’m writing again with deliberation and purpose. 

I am actually making honest-to-goodness long-term plans for all of the above, too. I’ve hired a new editor, the wife and I have a plan for owning a home next year and getting her a new car and paying off all of our taxes. 

The ands are endless once more. 

So much of my life had boiled down to surviving each day as it came to me. I was feeding my future and my dreams to the daily monster that my job had become. I hadn’t even realized just how bad it had gotten, either. I am being told by so many people around me that I’m more myself now than I’ve been in a long time. 

I’ve resolved to take this next year and continue focusing on personal recuperation. I have backed off any attempts to promote at work again. I’m not trying to make any further plans on what I’ll do at work other than excel at the things given to me. 

I am Justin again instead of just the manager at Amazon. 

I am to keep it that way. 

Selfully,

The Unsheathed Quill