Change is a Chance to Start Over
Change is hard.
That’s true no matter what phase of life you’re in.
Recently I was forced to admit that I’d lost the war for my hairline. Having no other options, I used the final resort: scorched earth.
I am now bald. At 34.
Life has a habit of happening with or without our consent.
When I was fired Wednesday of last week for a slip in routine time-clock procedure, all my plans took a hard shot in the tenders. My work wasn’t exactly a good place to be, but it was also a steady paycheck. Having a morning commute you can drive in your sleep is a comforting thing, and to have it ripped away caused no small amount of turmoil.
Yet… you see, all this time has given me a chance to ruminate on my life at ye olde jobbe, and I don’t like a lot of what I was when I was working there My career stagnated this year and with the gift of hindsight, the culprit is obvious. I’ve been bullied a lot in my life, and I recognize only now that I had fallen into old habits of keeping my head down and retreating into video games for respite.
When I was fired, I knew that my life would be drastically different.
What I hadn’t counted on was finding out I’d been given a chance to start my life over. I’ve already been hired for a new position which is not ideal long-term, but is more than good enough to allow the lights to stay on and the family to keep eating.
It’s a decent port which gets me out of one heck of a storm.
Much like my bald pate, subtle aspects of my life are different now. I cannot unfire myself anymore than I can force the hair upon my head to grow as it once did. I cannot roll back the clock to my early twenties and recapture the vigor granted by my ignorance.
However, there now exists now a chance to redefine what it means for one Justin G Wallace to be employed and productive. I have been given an opportunity to remake myself within the sphere of my professional life just as I was with my personal appearance.
I think that’s something I tend to lose track of in the traumas of the new; new doesn’t always mean bad.
I think my features are far more interesting and distinctive now. My appearance is memorable, with my shiny head and big bushy beard. I have a flavor and a depth that was lacking before now, one granted to me only by the passage of time and my acceptance of the same.
I also think that with the removal of a job which was actively harming my long-term personal and professional goals, I can once more look to the future with something resembling hope.
It is also my wish that in following my story, dear reader, that you too will alter the way you look at the unexpected lanes you travel in your own lives.
Am I especially thrilled at the prospect of slaving away at a retail job during the holiday season? Oh heck no, not even remotely. But it’s what I need. It’s what my family needs, and there are upsides to this arrangement that may not be visible at first blush.
I’m going to be doing one heck of a lot more physical labor. So long as I pay the appropriate tribute to my lower back strength and overall limberness, I can turn that into real progress with my health goals.
The work is more sporadic than the eight to five I’ve been enjoying of late, but even that wrinkle contains the golden glint of possibility. My professional writing aspirations have been given new life. I’ll have an easier time attending conventions and conferences with a looser schedule. I will simultaneously have more time to look for a long term employment option, all while continuing to have enough time to write while still making ends meet.
Life is notorious for its ability to deny us the things that we so desperately want. There are times however, such as with my hair and my job, that it hands us what we need instead.
It is my hope that you and I can both be humble enough to make the best of our new opportunities, no matter how they’re wrapped
Stridentfully,
The Unsheathed Quill
