On Focus, Distraction, and Artistic Creation…

There won’t be story today.  There might not be story Wednesday either.

Creating a story is a work of the mind and the heart acting in concert to inflame the imagination.

Right now?  My heart and mind are a million miles apart.

Something very unexpected, very serious, and quite necessary occurred over this weekend.  I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to talk about it on these pages.  I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to talk about it to more than a handful of people.

I have a lot of mixed emotions over what happened.   I’m pulled in a lot of directions about it, and I still haven’t decided where I will ultimately land after it either.  There’s a lot that needs to happen, one way or the other, before things are finally decided.

Even then, there’s really nothing final about it.  It’s something that will linger for the rest of my days.  No matter what happens, the shadow of this weekend will be cast across the years.  I wish I were exaggerating.

So I’m not in a great place mentally or physically.  I’m beyond exhausted, fretting over a host of things I have little ability to influence which will dominate the rest of my existence.

I stared blankly at the previous installment of Pontifex and found nothing.  That’s usually how I advance each part, and as soon as I reach a point where my imagination does nothing, I move on to the next story.  I really like the world I’ve crafted here, however, and I’d like to explore it some more.

I’m going to give it the rest of the week.  If Friday rolls around and I haven’t been able to do anything with it, I’ll go ahead and shutter it and move on.  That’s just how these things go.  Writing is 10% working as hard as you possibly can, harder than you ever imagined you could do anything.  And 90% Luck and Timing, which you have little to no control over.  I knew that when I signed up, but remedial lessons on the subject still sting.

Sincerely,
Justin