Creating Around the Cracks

I know that I haven’t exactly been shy about sharing it, but I need to say this one again for those in the back.

I’m an author, a father, and I struggle with Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD.

My mind does not do the things it should.  I am a walking collection of evolutionary dead-ends.  I am grateful, as I usually am, that I do live in the day and age that I do.  While it gives us things I never could’ve imagined, and not in a good way, the reality is that I could not receive treatment for my conditions in any other time in human history.  

Hundreds of years ago, I would’ve been bled, fed mercury, or told to imbibe things which have no business being imbibed.  Now, when I can afford it, there exist medicines which allow for me to mimic normality.  That has to be enough, because none of my conditions have a cure.

I’m still an author though.  I have been for years, and I intend to be one until they nail the coffin shut.  Writing has been, and will always be, a mental pursuit.  You have to master so many of your own emotions to be an author.  You have to learn continually, write constantly, and edit eternally.  There isn’t any rest.  Study, write, edit.  Forever and ever, amen.

So how do I manage to do it?  I’m sitting here, working on my two hundredth and ninety-fourth post, staring down the barrel of two novella’s released this year, as well as an additional publication option with Baen Books.  Shouldn’t my conditions prevent me from being able to do anything?

Well… yes.  Yes they should.  But I don’t let them.  I don’t let them because I’m better than they are.  I’m able to prepare for their shenanigans.  I still have my terrible moments.  I still have times where I can barely keep myself moving at all, let alone going forward.  Ask my wife; last night was a horrible disaster.  The only reason this post is happening is because I refuse to quit.  

I know enough about myself to re-center.  I have enough support in my wife and son that I can bounce back, even after something terrible.  I managed to be diligent enough and suffer enough so that when times are lean I have a small hoard to stem the worst of the tide. 

And I have The Quill.  I have a sense of progress.  I have all of you.  And that’s enough, even in the dark times. 

Let’s keep creating around the cracks, because I can’t wait to see what we accomplish together.

Crackfully,

The Unsheathed Quill